Stories Inspired by Life in Rural Brazil
I have this cringeworthy memory where I’m pretty sure I offended a whole roomful of people of color repeatedly. I mean, it’s one of those really bad memories where it flashes back and I mentally go: “LA-LA-LA-I-CAN’T-HEAR-YOU. LA-LA-LA-I’M-STILL-A-GOOD-PERSON-SO-GO-AWAY-LA-LA-LA-LAAAAA!!” Sigh. It’s an “oops!” memory of Epic Proportions. All of us probably have them (well… everyone except maybe Donald Trump, …
I get a lot of questions from people in the States about how people here in Brazil are dealing with all the Zika craziness. Americans are absolutely freaking out about the problem. And Brazilians? My answer always is: “They shrug.” It’s true. Ask any average Brazilian their opinion about Zika, and they’ll lift their shoulders …
Our region is famous for its milk production. It’s ranching country around here. Lots of local little producers, who deliver their milk daily to larger distributors who then either re-sell it to customers in-town or to larger, national buyers. Every morning the milk farmers drive their milk into town by pickup truck or by strapping their 50-liter …
I nearly cried in the post office. My mother sent us a box of used Legos, used baby clothes and other assorted items (none worth more than USD$10 each). The Brazilian Customs upon x-raying our box re-valued the items, deciding that in total they were worth R$350. They issued a tax based upon that worth. …
Here in our rural hideaway we’re pretty removed from all the World Cup preparations. The shops are all selling yellow and green t-shirts, hats, and vuvuvelas and everyone is staking out their favorite place in front of a big-screen TV, of course. Mr. Crônicas is lining up a back-up plan for when the satellite dish decides to …
My husband and his construction crew are proving themselves to be excellent cooks. Although most of their recipes seem to demand large amounts of meat and the world’s largest pressure cooker. This week’s menu selection was vaca atolada. I did a little, hidden dance of joy over behind the sacks of plaster because it was on …
My favorite commercial these days is this one by Englishtown.com for English classes. It is titled “Overcome your Gringophobia” and begins with: “GUYS–THE GRINGO IS COMING!!!” The rest explains itself. Sometimes the line between satire and reality is very blurry. I’m pretty sure I’ve seen this exact expression on the face of more than one shop …
It was a hot bus ride home at the end of a day of touristing in Salvador, Bahia. We were taking advantage of my pregnant belly to sit up front in the preferential service seats, so I could see them hop onto the bus out of the corner of my eye. They started to introduce …
P.S., After all that, the bank account STILL didn’t come through immediately. How many of you saw that one coming? My account remained blocked for some unknown reason, even after the requisite waiting period. The post office branch where I made the account sent me to the main bank. The main bank looked in the system and said the post office hadn’t entered …
